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CELIBACY

Celibacy, for those who don’t know, means zero sex. Zero fun in the sheets, only hand holding, staring into each other’s eyes and dropping bae off at their door. In this society we live in where the legal age for sex is 16, my 12 year old cousin looks 25, skirts are shorter than ever and in some cultures some 14 year olds are on baby number two how are we expected to stay celibate?

Oreka Godis dives into this controversial topic with Sade Ladipo outspoken TV Personality and Chizoba Ofeogu Emotional Confidence Coach with differing opinions. On team celibacy rocks, Chizoba (who is celibate) says that Christians should not fall into the trap of adopting the “Assistant Holy Ghost role” just because you are celibate does not make you a pastor or give you access to the book of life. She says to be celibate you should know why because if you have decided to go on strike and your partner is still working you will go from being the main plate to a side dish very quickly. If you want to be celibate find somebody who will grab.

On team no celibacy Sade says celibacy is unrealistic in today’s day and age. She says we should aim for sexual discipline, not just jumping from person to person. The saying is too much of a good thing is bad for you. But if you are celibate is it only in marriage that you get to have sex? So if you don’t marry will you be a virgin till you die? Scary thought right?

 

To watch the whole episode and weigh in on this controversial topic, Tune in to EbonyLife TV and Urban 96 FM Love Lounge on Mondays at 10pm WAT or Friday by 10:30pm WAT.

 

Any woman who has or earns more money than a man is an asset

Jan 25, 2016 Any woman who has or earns more money than a man is an asset, hold that thought for a minute…

Women usually also say “ain’t romance without finance”…which statement holds more weight in this day and age?

You can look at this from two angles, one being you have a boyfriend therefore you are not married you are not tied to him, he is not tied to you. What would you do? You’re earning a very comfortable sum, you’ve got cash flow on lock and life is great! You met a guy a little while back, he isn’t working but he’s got the best personality, he’s ambitious. Would you say “forget him, he needs to get his ish together before we can get together” or would you say, “It doesn’t matter, it’s only a temporary situation. Afterall, he has an amazing personality and that’s rare these days”?

Then we have the other scenario, you’re married to a great man and you both have a family to feed. You’re the main bread winner now the question is, do you submit to him as the head of the house as you’re meant to? I think that as long as the woman is submissive and humble, there shouldn’t be a problem. However, we can’t forget the fact that men have egos and if things aren’t as they’re meant to be, their ego gets hurt BIG TIME!

To get a better understanding, let’s look at the two scenarios in a deeper light. One being that the two of you are dating, courting whichever one slips out of your tongue easier and the other being on the premise that you’re married.

Okay, so come on ladies this is the 21st century is it really a big deal if as a woman you earn more than your boyfriend? To be honest, he hasn’t put a ring on it, the money you make is still yours (you’re not obliged to share it with him though it would be nice) I have been in relationships whereby I have been the sole provider, he wasn’t working and I did it out of care for his wellbeing. I’d say as long as he is ambitious and has long term goals that sit well with you, it’s really not a big deal. Just because he’s not working today doesn’t mean he can’t get his big break tomorrow, we’ve got to start looking at the bigger picture. Just wait it out and see where his connections and pursuits take him.

As for the married women earning more than their husbands? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it and I don’t think it’d be fair to make your husband to feel less of a man for it either. Just like I previously stated, just because he isn’t earning big bucks right now, doesn’t mean he won’t get a higher paying job tomorrow and to be honest, he’s probably feeling uneasy about it…let’s not add unnecessary tension.

In light of all that’s been said, is it a big deal for the woman to earn more money than the man? No, it isn’t…as long as there’s respect from both parties it shouldn’t matter who is bringing in the most “dough”. No situation is permanent so just because she’s earning more than the man today, doesn’t mean it’ll be that way forever.

 

What would you do?

Nov 05, 2015 Let me paint a scenario for you, I’m sure most of us have been there…narrating from a female point of view (because I am a lady) but please edit where necessary in your mind (*side note for the guys*)

Your friend hooks you up with a “blind date”, you’re nervous and excited knowing that you have to be “on fleek” for the date, so you wear the outfit you recently ordered from ASOS, you get all dolled up, hop into an Uber taxi (for those whose date’s car is “at the mechanic”), meet your date and at first glance you’re thinking “hmmm, not bad looking…he ticks most of my boxes physically, let’s see if he has the personality to match” (yes, I know it should be all about the personality but let’s face it, there are some things physically we can’t compromise on… no matter how much we try to kid ourselves). He’s got the date planned out so he takes you to a nice restaurant (perhaps Cactus or The Oriental). As the night progresses you find yourselves having less and less to talk about, he’s boring and pretty much not your type (personality wise) resulting in multiple awkward silences. Now you’re thinking “I need to get out of here and I need to do so quickly”, so my question is…how would you get out of a date that wasn’t going well?

Here’s my advice to you…it doesn’t have to go that far, if you have a friend or family member who has your back, plan it with him or her. There should be a signal between you and the friend or cousin (whether you choose to do it by phone call or actual presence, is up to you). I’ve played a few characters for friends and family (using the popular phone call method) whereby I’ve called them throughout the date with half an hour intervals, and once (or if) they gave the indication they needed to get out of the date, I’d pretend that there was some kind of emergency and voila! The date is over

 

Nigerian? Say what?

Nov 05, 2015 I bet you didn’t know this person is Nigerian…..Nnamdi Asomugha

This young-ish man, Nnamdi Asomugha was born July 6, 1981. For those of you who do not recognise his face, Asomugha is an American football cornerback for the San Fransisco 49ers of the National Football League (NFL). More on the run-up to his career? Asomugha played college football for the University of California, Berkeley, blessings knocked on his door when he was drafted in the first round of the 2003 NFL Draft by the Oakland Raiders. Not only did he play for them, he also played for the Philadelphia Eagles. He was notoriously known as one of the best shutdown corners in the NFL for many years.

More information about his early life? Nnamdi Asomugha was born to Nigerian Igbo parents in Lafayette, Louisiana but moved to Los Angeles, California where he was raised. When it comes to education, it appears Asomugha went to a number of schools attending Leuzinger High School in Lawndale, California and Bishop Montgomery High School in Torrance, California before transferring to Narbonne High School in Harbor City, California where he graduated playing high school basketball and football…that’s enough information to make us proud to call him Nigerian, right?

Guess which Hollywood beauty this man is married to…Kerry Washington! (I’ve always known that she has good taste)

 

Why You Must Be Physically Active

Nov 05, 2015 Sir Mick Jagger, the famous English singer and actor exercises 6 days a week and includes ballet, pilates and yoga in his regimen. He clearly gets that fitness rewires the brain to fight fear, reduces the stress response and multiplies stamina.

The Great Nelson Mandela used to walk entire days for the exercise and mind-clearing effects the discipline would deliver. Aliko Dangote also once said that his day hasn’t started without a brisk walk or jog because of its effect on his mental power. So many extreme achievers take a walk or exercise every day to beat stress.

God designed our bodies (brain, heart, bones, skin, sex organs, etc) to perform at their best when physically active! If you are used to the thinking that exercise is only for losing weight or stress is something that makes you worry, you have the wrong ideas of exercise or stress respectively.

There is enough medical evidence that exercise is a way for your body to practice response to stress. The theory is that exercise requires the same body systems (like neural, cardiac, renal, & musculoskeletal systems) to respond as they are involved in responding to stress such that exercise is like a ‘dress rehearsal’ for these systems to practice working together.

Hence, the more sedentary we are, the less able our body systems are in responding well to stress. Exercise also helps the brain to better deal with stress. People who exercise regularly are proven to have lower anxiety and depression rates than those who don’t.

Apart from the endorphin (feel-good chemical that helps the body to relax with feelings of pleasure) boost it gives, norepinephrine that is raised by exercise is a neuromodulator that helps the brain deal with stress more effectively by playing a role in releasing and modulating the other neurochemicals that are directly involved in the body’s stress response.

Just like Jim Rohn once said, “life and business is like the changing seasons. You cannot change the seasons, but you can change yourself;” I also strongly believe, “stress is less about the situation and more about your response to the situation!”
Respond to your daily living challenges with a fit mind & body, and experience the best of physical, mental, emotional, & social wellbeing.

Dr. Deji Osasona (@DrOsaz)

Wellness Expert & Affiliate coach at the Olusola Lanre Coaching Academy.

Website: www.olcang.com
Email:
info@olcang.com
Phone: 08077077000

 

10 Types of Sex Every Woman Should Have in Their Life-time!

Honeymoon Sex

honeymoon-sex

This is the first time the two of you will have had sex since saying “I do” unless the two of you sneeked in a cheeky “airplane sex” on your way to your honeymoon destination (if you left the country). Honeymoon sex assumedly would be sensual as you come to the realisation that you are now “one”.

I’m Sorry/ Make-up Sex

Make-Up-Sex

“Make-up sex” or “I’m sorry sex” is definitely the most complex of them all, with your emotions all over the place that you don’t know which way is up. After an argument or a falling out with your “boo” there are still some unsaid issues but you’ll sort that out later, heck you still love him/her and you’ve missed their love and affection.

Vacation Sex

Sex-on-the-beach

All guards are down and both parties can let loose. Vacation sex is where “anything goes” you haven’t got to worry about anything except having a good time, so enjoy it…anywhere, anytime.

We Might Get Caught Sex

office-sex

Whether it’s in the office, in the park, on a side road, the feeling of “we may get caught” makes it all the more exciting. Just don’t get caught by kids…it may be traumatising for them hehehe.

You’re Gonna Miss Me Sex AKA Break-up Sex

Miss-me-sex

This one could be argued to be the steamiest of all…make him or her know that they’re going to miss you, pull out all the stops WITHHOLD NOTHING! This kind of sex is only performed during certain kinds of break-ups. We have the ugly break-ups where things turn sour so sex would be the last thing on your mind, but then there are the back and forth break-ups where the two involved have tried to break up on a few occasions, this one is the so called “last time”.

Sex on the Beach

Beach-Sex

This is also combined with “we might get caught” sex. Safest done when it’s dark, though you can’t be so sure that you won’t get unexpected spectators…this risk makes it all the more exciting. Something you probably haven’t done before, but at least you can tick it of the list of “raunchy things to do in my life-time”.

Shower Sex

shower-sex

Hot, steamy shower sex…it’s a must! Whether your significant other says “I want to go freshen up” and you sneak in behind them or if you pull them into the bathroom during session one, shower sex is like none other. Girls don’t worry about your hair, try different positions, explore…

Role Play Sex

Role-play-sex

Lol…this one is subject to imagination. Let your imagination run wild, be who or what you want to be, as long as you’re having fun doing it…play that role, play it well!

Airplane Sex

airplane sex

Whether you’re on your way to your honeymoon with your newly wedded wife or husband, or taking a cheeky trip to a holiday destination with your significant other, airplane sex will definitely make your flight go seemingly faster. You’ll definitely be on cloud 9 *wink* and when you come out and see the long queue of bladder filled passengers, don’t apologise… they’re just jealous (hehe)

 

The EbonyLife and Times of Oreka Godis

She’s a woman of many wonders, an actress, content developer, creative writer, presenter for radio and television she’s none other than our Love Lounge presenter, Oreka Godis. Read on to find out the things you didn’t already know about the down-to-earth OAP.

 Q. Where did you grow up and what was life like for you?

A. My current five-year stretch in Lagos is the longest I’ve ever been in any place at the same time. My dad was in the Nigerian army; I’ve lived with different members of the Godis family over the years and I’d say I grew up with a sort of gypsy spirit – lots of travelling and relocating and sometimes never really staying long enough to get attached to a place. It’s made me curiously self-sufficient.

Q. What do you love most acting or presenting?

A. That’s like comparing apples and oranges. Humans are known to traditionally have five senses, the culmination of which gives the individual a whole experience. For me, all arms of my interests contribute towards my whole experience. I don’t think I could choose one over the other; they all flex such different parts of my body. That would be like asking me if I prefer seeing to being able to taste things.

I believe talent is a muscle that can and should be developed boundlessly. I am a budding writer, I might not sing anymore but I certainly still have that ability somewhere in me. From as far back as primary school, I performed at school events, participating in everything from the debate team to the weekly amateur nights at boarding school where I would write, direct and act in plays.

Hosting TV/Radio/events, painting, writing, producing, directing and acting are all things I’ve been doing for years as a hobby and am now working on executing on a professional level. I, for instance, really love writing. I love how you can create characters out of nothing in the same way I can paint and create a story where there was once just a blank page. I love how presenting on the radio has and hosting on TV is nurturing me. Being lucky enough to have a webseries, TV drama, movie and theatre credits to my repertoire is incredible. These are all just a fraction of what makes me who I am, to choose one over the other is to kill a part of me.

Q. Which actors/actresses do you admire?

A. Oh, there are a number of them – Meryl Streep, Julianne Moore, Benedict Cumberbatch, Emma Thompson, Thandie Newton, Helena Bonham Carter, and for different reasons, Jessica Alba, Zooey Deschanel and people like Lucy Lui.

Q. You star in Victor Sanchez 5 part series “Dowry”, how was it different to anything you’ve acted in before?

A. Sanchez has such a remarkable mind and to know him, is to experience creation. He has done a lot of off the wall work like #HowSheLeftMyBrother and T.A.B.L.O.I.D. and even though I’ve worked with him on a number of projects in the past, none of that prepared me for his new baby, Dowry.

Dowry is a first of its kind in Nigeria not just because of the fact that it is a mini series but also because of the way the stories are going to unfold.  When Sanchez first spoke with me about Dowry I was really enthralled by the notion that just as American Horror Story and shows like True Detective broke the rule book on how stories can be told to TV audiences in America, Sanchez was going to do the same here with Dowry.

I spend a lot of my time on the phone this season which I guess is different to my time on T.A.B.L.O.I.D but because Sanchez is such a Dr Who fan, I wonder if I won’t be communicating via Tardis next time J

Q. Think back to your very first acting audition, what was it like?

A. It was nerve racking and I can’t say being at auditions or screen tests have gotten any easier either. I much prefer the moment when I have the job and can finally start getting my head around the character’s choices.

Q.What is the most absurd rumour you’ve heard or read about yourself?

A. I can’t think of any.

Q. In your whole presenting career, which is the most sensitive subject you’ve had to address?

A. There have been episodes of Love Lounge that brought me to tears such as the day Coach and Izefua Ehia Williams Irhabor told us about ways children are being molested in Nigeria. Love Lounge also covered the matter of homosexuality a few times on the show and that’s such a delicate topic in Africa – there are a lot of voices that are being forced into silence or whose lives are at risk because of the way (or who) they love and that’s heartbreaking for me but so difficult to adequately tackle in current times.

Q. You present Love Lounge on EbonyLife TV every Monday at 22:00 WAT where you and the experts keep it real whilst discussing love, sex and relationships. What are the satisfactions that come with presenting a show like this?

A. Love Lounge for me has always been about exposing the underbelly of neglect that an alarmingly large portion of our society suffers from.

Through discussing matters of the heart – love, sex and relationships, the viewer/listener feedback we get both on and offline has been incredibly positive and encouraging. Mo Abudu, Lanre Olushola, Sandra Amadio, Adesuwa Osawe, Ayoola Opere and all the other members of the team at EbonyLife TV that make Love Lounge what it is have created an environment where viewers and listeners feel safe, understood, cared for and listened to enough for them to share such intimate details of their troubles with me. ELTV created a vessel in Love Lounge where once there was a vacuum on the air for people who needed professional, adult advice and for me, that’s is great television. Education without shame.

Q. What advice would you give to someone who wants to pursue a career in presenting?

A. Life as a presenter is a twenty-four hour job. It doesn’t start and stop when the microphone is (de)activated. It is important to train yourself; to never want to stop learning; surround yourself with information and the ability to absorb the right information to educate your audience.

I think people that have a natural flair for a creative job have it lucky. As do people who have studied it at university or on any other level but if like me, you feel you have more of an affinity for the creative industry despite your degree being from a totally unrelated sphere, or perhaps you find that despite your obvious, more dominant talents, you would rather investigate your latent creative flair, don’t be discouraged by other people, just work at it. Like I said before, talent is a muscle and the more you flex it and hone it, the better your understanding of each of its moving parts and how to use it. Study the art you want to create, dedicate your time to it professionally and passionately and never lose sight of your objective.

Q. Best and worst feeling in the world?

A. Best: Having the weekend off to vegetate on the sofa, catching up on all my favourite TV shows back to back.  

Worst: Coming back home after a long day at work and traffic to find the one meal I’d been looking forward to eating all day has been consumed by someone else.

Q. Who is your celebrity crush?

A. Theirry Henry, Ebuka Obi-Uchendu and if I may add a comic book character, Gambit.

Q. What was your childhood nickname?

A. Forgetful Jones.

Q. If you had the chance to go back in time and change one thing, what would you change?

A. I wouldn’t change a thing.

Q. In one word, sum up your life so far.

A. Esoteric.

Q. All time favourite food?

A. I don’t have one.

Q. What have you not achieved yet that you must do in this life time?

A. Publish a book.

Q. A time I will never forget was when…(please complete sentence)

A. I believe my most unforgettable moment is still ahead.

Q. Life in Lagos is…(please complete sentence)

A. Congested.

Q. Quality time for me is…(please complete sentence)

A. Spending time with friends and family.

Q. What’s next for Oreka Godis?

A. I’m going to be on stage on the 15th June 2014 as the Lady in Yellow in Keke Hammond’s production of Ntozake Shange’s For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Is Enuf.

I feature as a supporting actress in Seyi Babatope’s When Love Happens (alongside Weruche Opia, Gideon Okeke and OC Ukeje) as well as Ejiro Onobrakpor’s A Few Good Men (alongside Kate Henshaw, Uru Eke and Joseph Benjamin), both movies are due out in cinemas across Nigeria later this year. I’m due on a feature film set soon with Ashionye Michelle Raccah so, I’d say movies, stage and more presenting (radio & TV) as well as producing content are on the cards for me going forward.

I’d also like to use this medium to encourage everyone to watch Dowry and Love Lounge exclusively on EbonyLife TV. Send your tweets and FB messages in too, we read each one and appreciate the feedback!

Thank you for letting us into the life and times of Oreka Godis. We wish you the best for all future endeavours.

Stay tuned for the next EbonyLife and Times edition where a good time is had by all! And remember, life is short and time is swift so don’t dull, make a difference

 

Former BBA winner Karen Igho secretly marries.

27 May 2014 So has BBA winner Karen Igho gone and gotten hitched in a secret wedding?

Well apparently this is true. Karen showed off a wedding ring this wedding on her instagram page She also posted 2 more pics confirming that she’s finally off the market.

What more, this might have happened a while ago as she kept her big day a big secret.

 

Dangote plans to consolidate his company’s position as the largest sugar producer in West Africa.

27 May 2014 He has conquered cement and now, Africa’s richest man is turning his attention to sugar. Alhaji Aliko Dangote announced recently, that his Sugar refinery is projected to produce about 2 million tonnes of sugar per annum from locally grown sugar cane within the next 10 years. He stated that the plan was to consolidate the company’s position as the largest sugar producer in West Africa.

Fast on his way to making this happen, the mogul has acquired a sugar factory in Jigawa state and will invest over 250 million dollars in the factory with production expected to start in September 2014. 20,000 hectares of land have also been purchased, with growth capacity of 150,000 metric tonnes of sugarcane each year.

The company plans to employ 23,000 indigenes of the state; 10,000 of that number will be farmers that will engaged in the farming of sugarcane. Alhaji Dangote added that the waste and by products from the sugarcane will be used to produce ethanol which can be used for vehicles, fertilizers and animal feed, creating economic activities for the people of the area.

He emphasized that the company would pay compensation for the land to be used for sugarcane and that most of the farmers would be among the 10,000 who would be engaged as farmers.

 

“Heal. Release. Move on. Thrive!” – Read “Letter To My Daughter at 20″

By Debbie Edwards –   My darling, as you turn 20, I wanted to share a few of life’s most important lessons with you. You will have many significant people through your life, and a best friend. You do not need to be intimidated by your best friend, or your boyfriend, mother or job for that matter. Trust those who show you the truth in them. We all need allies in life; but remember the benefit of the doubt is subjective, don’t give it to just anybody.

When fear threatens to cloud you, don’t let it. If fear is what pushes you to do something, make a decision DON’T DO IT, DON’T MAKE IT! If fear is the reason for putting something off, for procrastinating with an important decision, DO IT WITHOUT DELAY.

The success and happiness of your thirties is directly correlated to the decisions you make in your 20’s. People will always feel they know what’s good for you. Take the advice, nod, even mull it over, but in the end, do what YOUR HEART feels is right for YOU.

When faced with a decision, ask yourself three questions; is this the right decision? Is it for the right reasons? Is it the right time? If your answer is YES! YES! YES! You won’t go far wrong in life.

In everything you choose to do, be kind. Kindness is a rare commodity; it puts you and your interests behind that of the next person, not just in grand gestures, but even in the little things. It emanates from the heart, and is felt by those who cannot be fooled by insincerity. A shortcut to morality is the golden rule of life; ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’ you’ll discover that this really is the start of wisdom and righteousness.

And while we’re on the subject of morality, relationships will NEVER be clear, it isn’t the nature of things. But you can help yourself by doing an exercise; make 3 lists: 1. What you ‘want’ in the man you love 2. What you would ‘like’ in the man you love 3. What you will not tolerate in any man in your life.

And stick to this list…preferably the first list. Standards dictate who we let into our heart, who stays there, and who deserves to be there. The more you compromise with these lists, the longer it will take to find your soulmate.

While looking for him, never covet what another woman has. Let what is meant to be yours, come to you. This habit people have of running in packs isn’t all that healthy either, after all the saying goes ‘relationSHIPS sink when they have too many passengers. You don’t need to let everybody in. And while you’re at it, Jealousy sucks! Try being on the receiving end of it, you’ll understand how damaging it can be to any relationship. Spending a fun weekend with someone is not enough to know if you really like them. You only really get to know people in their reactions when things are not going their way, and over a prolonged period. Further down the line when you think it’s a done deal, it’s still NEVER going to be ok to have sex in your parents house, unless you’re married. Get over it!

There’s never going to come a time when you should stop feeding the child in you. It’s the part of you which will always experience the real beauty of life, afresh, every time. Don’t ever be afraid of your own company. For anyone to love being with you, you must first love being with yourself. Wear your hair EXACTLY as you please. Society will have to get used to it. When you are choosing clothes think about what this will tell people about you when you wear them…and always be true to who you are. Everything on the outside should be a further expression of what is on the inside. Save! Yes, now IS the right time to do so.

There will be rough times, and you must survive your own traumas, but don’t fall victim to your story. Heal. Release. Move on. Thrive! It’s your motivation which will dictate the results of ANY action.

Always try to come from a good place. It will show. My darling you’ll never stop learning, and, while education is a leveler, LIFE is the best teacher. Best case scenario, use both. Reading is a joy! Read! It’s never too late to learn to love books. But if the books you’re reading don’t make you a better person, you’re reading the wrong books. Quality of life is what you give to yourself. Not what your job or your relationship gives you.

Decide what you love to do, and start doing it TODAY.

By Debbie Edwards