BEAUTY AND THE BLEACH: IS THIS THE NEW THELMA O’KHAZ?

30th Jan 2014 – Here’s a love letter to actress Thelma O’khaz or someone whom we suppose is her.

Dear Thelma,

Congratulations on being the first African to be bestowed upon with an EL Now love letter.

Now into the meat of the matter. We think you are a beauty. With your goo-goo doll eyes and puffy lips, we’re sure you have more than your fair share of attention from the men-folk.

Speaking of ‘fair’, what’s all this we are seeing on Linda Ikeji’s blog about your new um…transformation. Really no one deserves to wake up in the middle of the night to see this.

Have you recently been watching too much Twilight, nay, brides of Frankenstein? Did you have a Vivienne Westwood nightmare or did you mistakenly trip and fall into that cauldron where Dencia cooks up Whitenicious?

Either way, please accept our sympathy. We are certain no woman would have intentionally turned herself from a beauty to a bleach. However, if that photo was photo shopped, we are desperate to hear from you.

Till then, we remain your jaw-crashed appalled friends,