This “what would you do?” segment is taking on more of a “what do you do?” angle this month as I ask, “what are the questions you ask yourself when you’re trying to decide if this is the kind of man or woman you want to be in a relationship with?”
During the “dating” stage after the two of you have met and been talking to each other for a while, you’ll be asking yourself questions to ascertain the direction of the relationship…whether you could go the long haul with the person or whether you should just call it quits.
I’m not talking about the normal questions that answer your physical attraction (like is he or she handsome or beautiful, tall etc…) I’m talking about the deep questions like “has he or she cheated on an ex before?”, “Is he or she a jealous person?”, “can we be ourselves when we are together?”, “do we engage in stimulating conversations?” these are the types of questions that’ll put things into perspective. The answers will tell you whether the two of you are wasting your time or if this is the real deal.
Let me tell you why the answers to these kinds of questions are insightful…if he or she has cheated on an ex before I’d say it shows weakness (I know there are so many theories to cheating that have been explored and feel free to differ but in my opinion, it shows weakness) and would you want to be with a weak man or woman?
Is he or she a jealous person? Hmmmm, now there’s a difference between jealousy and possessiveness so please don’t get the two confused. Jealousy in a relationship is healthy, it shows that the person cares consequently, a bit of jealousy is okay…it’s not a deal breaker, but if that jealousy turns into possessiveness, I’d say get out of there ASAP!
Can we be ourselves around each other? This is a big one…what’s the point of being with someone you can’t be yourself with, having to hide your true personality and how long can you put on a façade for? Trust me, if you can’t be yourself around this guy or girl it may be time to call it quits….
Do we engage in stimulating conversations? Isn’t it nice being involved with someone who you can have intellectual conversations with and who you’re on the same wavelength with? This is a very important point because even attraction can grow if there wasn’t any initial physical attraction. Yes, it’s nice to talk about the small things with him or her but sometimes having serious conversations can give you a deeper understanding of each other and teach you about how he or she views the world…
After all is said and done, there is no limit to the amount of questions you should ask yourself… ask all the necessary questions that’ll cancel your doubts, or at least direct you as to what action to take next.